I'll remember your usual drink order when you start remembering my name.
So, a guy grumpily walks up to the counter and says "Soy mocha." I reply, "Hi, mocha. Soy Matt. What would you like to order?"
"I meant to ask for this to be iced." -- Well, i meant to go to grad school and do something fulfilling with my life. So...Oops, i guess?
Start over. And this time remember that your morning coffee routine should not involve a blender.
Instead of being mad at me for charging full price, you should thank my co-worker for giving you a deal on your 3 shot soy vanilla latte.
Lady with a 4-year old asked me to turn off A$AP because of the language. So I was all, "no, it's not my fault your kid is a f*cking nerd."
I dunno why people try to beat me at the bad-mood game. Don't they know I do this for a living?
"I know this isn't a Starbucks, but..." -- Oh boy, here we go.
I had to teach a lady how to use a toaster today. So, there's that.
I mean, at some point it makes sense for me to just give you the bottle of vanilla with a straw.
You can say "2% milk" all damn day. You're getting whole milk.
If you only read one article about the Bitter Barista saga, it should be this one.
"You're out of sugar..." -- No, you're out of sugar.
"I didn't want this iced. And my name is John, not Susan."
"You know, at Starbucks they have a different kind of caramel." -- You know what else Starbucks should have? You.
I just convinced a lady not to buy the last chocolate croissant because my 6-year old wanted it for his birthday. Also, I don't have kids.
How come everyone else on the internet gets to be mean? I'm so confused.
If you rearrange the furniture, just put it back when you leave so I don't have to spend the rest of my shift putting a curse on your family
If you're willing to say "triple grande lightfoam soy mocha" at 6 am, you're not really in a position to complain about price
One of my favorite ways to pass the time is convincing old ladies that their latte made with half-and-half is actually pronounced, "breev".