Don't cry over spilled milk? I'm not crying about the milk! Do you see where I work?!
The everything-bagel makes a promise that it can't possibly keep.
extra shot: 50 cents
flavor: 35 cents
spiting your sense of entitlement: priceless
Every time someone orders an extra-hot-no-foam latte, an angel rapes a puppy.
I don't know who did the art. I don't know how you can buy the art. And i mean really, is "art" even the right word to be using?
I understand you biked here, sir, but that doesn't change the fact that you have a rear-view mirror attached to your face right now.
"At the staff meeting tonight we'll be going over the new rules, which are mandatory for all employees except for the ones we like."
This guy gets refills and extra cream cheese for free, just so I don't have to hear him complain about the prices again.
Lady, I can tell you what is inside the cup and you can decide if its what you ordered. But that's just about all the information I've got.
It's 6 am and you're waiting outside of a coffee shop that isn't even open yet?
The worst part about my boss not having the courage to fire me himself: I didn't get to yell, "No, YOU'RE fired!"
"This latte is beautiful, how did you get so good at this?" - Give up on life, become desperate for rent money, then wait five years.
The coffee is free, you're just paying me to feign interest in you.
I love my coworkers. We support each other and there isn't anything– WHO THE F*CK LEFT CRUMBS IN THE DISH WATER? WHY ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?
I knew I'd made a wrong turn in life when I felt compelled to yell back, "It's not my job to tell you the f*cking water isn't filtered!"
No ma'am, we do not serve soy eggnog. We don't serve unicorn milk either.
Don't let this espresso machine fool you... I have no interest in talking about coffee, your trip to Ethiopia, or roasting techniques.
I think it's weird when I hand someone a drink and they say "cheers".
This is all a performance piece.
If someone asks "for here or to go?", the answer is not "for here, but in a to-go cup". Because that is a f*cking obnoxious answer.