"Could I buy a gallon of milk?"
Me: Hi, how are you?
Her: Oh my god. Do you even sell blended drinks?!
I've collected some data. If you keep your sunglasses on inside, you're at least 80% douchebag.
Lady, I can tell you what is inside the cup and you can decide if its what you ordered. But that's just about all the information I've got.
I spend half my day apologizing for things I didn't do wrong.
See that bin over there labeled, "clean spoons"? Just go ahead and toss any ol' thing in there.
It was right around the time that you asked if flour contained gluten, that I realized you don't have a gluten allergy.
No, you can't return your dirty-chai.. That's why I asked you if you knew what it was before I made it.
My only goal for the month is to figure out how to pour a picture of a middle finger in latte art.
Yeah we're open. Feel free to push open the sliding doors and take a seat on one of the upturned chairs.
Customer asked me to stop texting while making his coffee... "I'm not texting, i'm tweeting... About you."
Oh, you want THAT blueberry scone, not THIS blueberry scone? Well, don't worry, that doesn't make me hate you at all.
I went to work on Halloween dressed as someone with no self respect.
When we say "ristretto", we're referring to a type of espresso shot. When they say it, it's just to warn you that they'll be complaining later.
Do you really think that the person who decides the prices is the same person who is here at 6 am listening to you complain?
Anyone that can't put sugar in their own coffee should be publicly euthanized.
My phone autocorrects "café" to "cage" because it knows more than I do.
When people ask me how old the coffee is, I never know if they want me to lie or if they want to stand there for the next five minutes.
I care too much about you to put that in the microwave.
You really start to question your life choices when every shower you take smells like you're brewing coffee.