The wifi password is "espresso." If you can't spell that, or find the correct spelling somewhere in the store, you aren't allowed online.
Whether or not you biked here is inconsequential. Those capri pants look ridiculous.
Sometimes you're reasonable. And other times, you're a 42 year old woman yelling at me because I'm out of whipped cream for your mocha.
"Make sure that shot is ristretto. I hate bitter espresso, it ruins my day." — You have a lot of complaints about a drink I haven't made yet
If you're just getting drip coffee, you're more important than everyone else. Push to the front of the line and avoid eye contact.
If you're old enough to buy coffee then you're old enough to hear the word "f*ck" in a song without it ruining your entire day.
You can say "2% milk" all damn day. You're getting whole milk.
Pro-tip: if you tip your barista in weed, you'll never pay for coffee again.
"I'd like a coffee." - so would, literally, everyone else in line. So, let's speed up this process with a few specifics, eh?
My only goal for the month is to figure out how to pour a picture of a middle finger in latte art.
One of my favorite ways to pass the time is convincing old ladies that their latte made with half-and-half is actually pronounced, "breev".
Awesome! I have a customer that drives by every morning and then drives away when he sees I'm working. I think that means I win.
If you've ever ordered an americano with steamed soy milk, you're pretty much on par with Hitler in my book.#muglife
I'm not even supposed to be here today!
So, apparently a large mocha pairs really well with meth? At least that's what the last guy that ordered, seemed to be saying.
My boss is all like, "don't you have something you could be doing?"... And I'm all like, "umm, twitter?"
I've collected some data. If you keep your sunglasses on inside, you're at least 80% douchebag.
If you've ever said "I'd like a large caramel macchiato", you're probably super lame.
It's almost like you waited in that long line just to show me pictures of your kids. Oh, wait, there's video too? Yay.
A guy on a first date just ordered a large steamed milk and I can't figure out a discreet way to warn her that he's probably a serial killer.