"I want that latte extra, extra hot. Much hotter than last time." -- *steams milk until it is fire*
Old people love receipts.
"At the staff meeting tonight we'll be going over the new rules, which are mandatory for all employees except for the ones we like."
I had to teach a lady how to use a toaster today. So, there's that.
Nothing makes me lose faith in humanity like wet napkins in the bus tub.
"This better not be instant-coffee. Did you get this out of a bag and just add water?" -- Yes. You've just described all coffee.
It's soy milk. It tastes like soy milk, looks like soy milk and comes in a box labeled 'soy milk'. That's all the information I have.
One day my boss is gonna stumble on my twitter account. I'll need to borrow some money the day after that happens...
Make sure to tell your barista that she's cute because everyone loves to feel uncomfortable at 7 in the morning.
Oh, you want THAT blueberry scone, not THIS blueberry scone? Well, don't worry, that doesn't make me hate you at all.
A customer just referred to me as "the friendly one".... Which, if you know me, is kinda weird.
Please write down your mother's phone number so I can call to tell her about your behavior here today.
Your happiness and self-confidence are infuriating.
Yeah, that kilt is super hip.
When I ask "for here or to go?" I'm only curious what kind of cup you want... Not what your plans for the day are.
Food service... The only industry where the boss can cut your pay by raising prices.
Sorry, lady. You're gonna have to speak up, because I'm not turning Stevie down just so I can take your goddamn latte order.
The next time you order extra-hot-no-foam, I'm putting that sh*t in the microwave.
Sir, we have five trashcans around the cafe. I am not one of them.
Were you trying to knock over everything on the condiment bar? Because you missed that last...wait, no, you got it.