No ma'am, we do not serve soy eggnog. We don't serve unicorn milk either.
I get so excited when I see you outside of work because I don't have to ignore the fact that you usually don't treat me like a human being.
I think it was when she gave me her order over the bathroom stall I was currently occupying, that I decided she was a jerk.
"If you break this dollar I'll be able to give you a tip"
If my job didn't involve talking to people, I'd be hella good at my job.
Couples that have the exact same, very particular coffee order, kinda freak me out.
I'm not upset that your kid is crying. I'm just upset that I'm not young enough to get away with doing it too.
It's soy milk. It tastes like soy milk, looks like soy milk and comes in a box labeled 'soy milk'. That's all the information I have.
"I want that latte extra, extra hot. Much hotter than last time." -- *steams milk until it is fire*
F*ck you I won't do whatcha tell me!
...Unless you pay me $10, in which case I'll apparently do what you tell me for like an hour.
"I'm sorry to be picky but..." -- Lemme just stop you right there. No, you are not.
When the two most annoying customers in the cafe find each other, all is right in the universe.
If you know what puro-caff smells like, you're probably also pretty familiar with depression.
You're gonna yelp about it? I'll tell you what... You write on your website, I'll write on mine, and we'll call it even.
I thought about telling the customer that she had cream cheese all over her face when she left... But she'll figure it out
The americanos are different prices because my boss is a d*ck.
Whether or not you biked here is inconsequential. Those capri pants look ridiculous.
Yeah, that kilt is super hip.
Spoiler alert: I don't care
What my boss doesn't understand is that, while my attitude makes for some terrible customer service, it makes for some great internet.