It's almost like all these idiots don't realize how f*cking charming I am.
Sometimes you're reasonable. And other times, you're a 42 year old woman yelling at me because I'm out of whipped cream for your mocha.
"Do you really expect people to buy a plastic lid for $.05?" -- Well, I expect them to buy coffee but you don't seem to be doing that so I've adjusted my expectations.
What do I recommend? Coffee. I recommend coffee.
The everything-bagel makes a promise that it can't possibly keep.
"Can you put this in a ceramic cup, I don't like to waste paper"
The transaction would have gone smoother if he'd taken off his headphones. I wouldn't have had to repeat myself and he'd still be alive.
So, apparently a large mocha pairs really well with meth? At least that's what the last guy that ordered, seemed to be saying.
I am 100% sure that isn't a service dog because you are carrying it in your purse.
Holy f*ck. This lady just ordered a "big cup of chino", without a hint of irony.
Dirty chai is the menthol cigarette of coffee.
I spend half my day apologizing for things I didn't do wrong.
We are friendly, but we are not friends. Friends don't stop talking to each other just because today's scone was a little stale.
If you write a zero on a credit card tip, don't draw a line through it. We get it already.
It's called a scone. A sconce, on the other hand, is a wall-mounted light fixture.
It was right around the time that you asked if flour contained gluten, that I realized you don't have a gluten allergy.
My boss is gonna stumble on my twitter feed sooner or later. That's gonna be awkward.
And then he reaches in his coat pocket and pulls out a small container of heavy whipping cream. "Use this", he says.
The sixth refill isn't free.
"How big is an 8 oz cup?" -- and then my brain started leaking out of my ear.