My most poetic moments are the lies I have to tell to convince myself that it's worth it to get out of bed at 5 am for all of this.
"thank you, have a nice day" is retail-speak for, "I hate you, I hope you die in a fire".
What do I recommend? Coffee. I recommend coffee.
Tips this morning have been wack. I'm choosing to blame the selfish nature of mankind, and not my absolutely horrible attitude.
The cafe is kid-friendly, meaning that we won't strangle or throw things at them. It doesn't mean you get to stop being a parent.
Couples that have the exact same, very particular coffee order, kinda freak me out.
If I was a mind-reader, I wouldn't be working here.
You can either order an egg nog latte, or you can be treated like an adult.
This guy walks into the cafe from across the street... "Can you reset your router? I think the wifi is down."
Remember that time you asked me to change the music, and then you suggested Fleetwood Mac and now you're not allowed in here anymore?
This is an espresso machine, not a cash register. Get back in line.
Food service... The only industry where the boss can cut your pay by raising prices.
And then he reaches in his coat pocket and pulls out a small container of heavy whipping cream. "Use this", he says.
"Don't spend it all in one place" is one of those classic jokes that never gets old. It still makes me want to cry every time.
It's almost like you waited in that long line just to show me pictures of your kids. Oh, wait, there's video too? Yay.
My rent is gonna be a few days late but I found this sweet pamphlet in the tip jar about how to find Jesus, so like, whatevz.
"How big is an 8 oz cup?" -- and then my brain started leaking out of my ear.
We're both on the same team... You want your coffee quickly, and I want you to leave as soon as possible.
My manager is never here on delivery days. I guess he's brighter than I give him credit for.
One of my favorite ways to pass the time is convincing old ladies that their latte made with half-and-half is actually pronounced, "breev".