I get paid minimum wage for coffee, but I charge $20 an hour for I.T. Keep that in mind before you bring that laptop up to the counter.
I'll pass along that suggestion to my boss, who will also not care about it.
Alright, who's the guy that keeps leaving the empty sugar packets on the counter? There can't be more than one of you...
Have you looked at the bottom of that mug you brought in from your car? What do you want me to rinse it with? A flamethrower?
And then he reaches in his coat pocket and pulls out a small container of heavy whipping cream. "Use this", he says.
Your happiness and self-confidence are infuriating.
If I owned a bazooka, I would have used it this morning to turn off my alarm clock.
It's Saturday! Crumble your pastries on the cafe floor and don't look at the menu 'til you're at the front of the line!
If you use a french accent to order a croissant, I'm going to insist that you finish out the rest of the order that way.
If you write a zero on a credit card tip, don't draw a line through it. We get it already.
"I don't want the broken cookie," she said. So I looked her right in the eye, smiled, and broke every cookie one by one.
Tips. As in, money. Not career advice.
Nothing makes me lose faith in humanity like wet napkins in the bus tub.
I dunno why people try to beat me at the bad-mood game. Don't they know I do this for a living?
I'm not even supposed to be here today!
No ma'am, we do not serve soy eggnog. We don't serve unicorn milk either.
There is no reason, joke or not, that you should touch my tip jar... Unless your doctor prescribed you a foot to the face.
If you order your coffee using baby-talk....even if you're "so sweeeeeepy"... I will hate you and tell you to leave.
Sometimes we run out of things, so it's probably best not to base the success of your day around scone availability.
I'm not upset that your kid is crying. I'm just upset that I'm not young enough to get away with doing it too.