It was right around the time that you asked if flour contained gluten, that I realized you don't have a gluten allergy.
I really hope this coffee career takes off so I can finally stop making music.
The coffee of the day is an Ethiopian dark roast blended with broken dreams and despair.
I'm super excited that you followed me outside on my smoke break. You're the best at picking up social cues.
Yeah we're open. Feel free to push open the sliding doors and take a seat on one of the upturned chairs.
F*ck you I won't do whatcha tell me!
...Unless you pay me $10, in which case I'll apparently do what you tell me for like an hour.
It's 9 am and we just ran out of vanilla, so I'm preparing for a full day of white-lady-rage.
Sir, if you insist on eating that bagel with a knife and fork, then I'll have to ask you to leave.
If you bring in your own coffee and use our creamer, don't try to hide it. It's actually more insulting that you'd think I'd care.
It's 5:30 in the morning. What exactly did you expect out of this interaction?
Lady with a 4-year old asked me to turn off A$AP because of the language. So I was all, "no, it's not my fault your kid is a f*cking nerd."
We're both on the same team... You want your coffee quickly, and I want you to leave as soon as possible.
Remember that one time you went through my tip jar to find change to pay for your latte? That was awkward. Sorry about your face.
"thank you, have a nice day" is retail-speak for, "I hate you, I hope you die in a fire".
Old people love receipts.
I dunno why people try to beat me at the bad-mood game. Don't they know I do this for a living?
You called? On the phone? Oh, no, we don't answer that.
"I want that latte extra, extra hot. Much hotter than last time." -- *steams milk until it is fire*
If I was a mind-reader, I wouldn't be working here.
If you write a zero on a credit card tip, don't draw a line through it. We get it already.