The words "just" and "blended hazelnut soy latte with carmel sauce and whipped cream" may never be appropriately used in the same sentence.

"I'm so bad ..." It's just whipped cream, not genocide.

I called my boss, "Mr. Manager", but he didn't get it and that's when I knew this was never gonna work.

extra shot: 50 cents flavor: 35 cents spiting your sense of entitlement: priceless

Remember that time you asked me to change the music, and then you suggested Fleetwood Mac and now you're not allowed in here anymore?

"You're out of stir-sticks and I don't want to use a spoon..."

You're giving me fancy chocolate instead of a tip?  Okay, lemme just make a call and see if my weed dealer is cool with candy as currency.

Wait, you're gonna pay me minimum wage, AND I get 30% off the food I make for myself?  Holy f*ck, where do I sign up?!

I used to think loud-cellphone-guy was the worst.  That is, until I met loud-skype-guy.