I'm super excited that you followed me outside on my smoke break. You're the best at picking up social cues.
Holy f*ck. This lady just ordered a "big cup of chino", without a hint of irony.
"Don't spend it all in one place" is one of those classic jokes that never gets old. It still makes me want to cry every time.
I would remember your usual drink if you were a more memorable person.
Good coffee is never bitter. But a good barista always is.
A couple years back, my boss bought a cell-phone jammer on the internet. We used to keep it under the counter. That was a fun summer.
A customer just referred to me as "the friendly one".... Which, if you know me, is kinda weird.
Please write down your mother's phone number so I can call to tell her about your behavior here today.
Soy milk containers: carefully engineered to ensure that no more than half the milk ends up in the pitcher. Brilliant.
I asked her why she needed a drink carrier if she only had one drink. "Because I have to carry it someplace."
A guy on a first date just ordered a large steamed milk and I can't figure out a discreet way to warn her that he's probably a serial killer.
"I want that latte extra, extra hot. Much hotter than last time." -- *steams milk until it is fire*
To the guy sitting alone in the cafe, laughing at his phone and looking around...you can cut that out, no one wants to know what's so funny.
One day my boss is gonna stumble on my twitter account. I'll need to borrow some money the day after that happens...
Extra hot, no foam? And paying in change? You're off the team, buddy.
Alright, who's the guy that keeps leaving the empty sugar packets on the counter? There can't be more than one of you...
I don't know who did the art. I don't know how you can buy the art. And i mean really, is "art" even the right word to be using?
Coffee is very effective at masking the scent of marijuana.
My boss is all like, "don't you have something you could be doing?"... And I'm all like, "umm, twitter?"
The next time you order extra-hot-no-foam, I'm putting that sh*t in the microwave.