Whatever drink you order will be announced loudly to a cafe full of people, probably multiple times. Choose wisely.
Sometimes we run out of things, so it's probably best not to base the success of your day around scone availability.
I just asked what size you wanted, not if you were capable of repeating your order at an obscene volume.
If you write a zero on a credit card tip, don't draw a line through it. We get it already.
So, apparently a large mocha pairs really well with meth? At least that's what the last guy that ordered, seemed to be saying.
I thought about telling the customer that she had cream cheese all over her face when she left... But she'll figure it out
Lady, you're drinking coffee through a straw. I hardly think you're in the position to lecture me on lifestyle choices.
I'm smiling, aren't I? I think that's enough of a Halloween costume.
"I'm sorry, I'm going to be one of those terrible customers..." -- Or you could just, like, not do that.
Sorry, lady. You're gonna have to speak up, because I'm not turning Stevie down just so I can take your goddamn latte order.
WHY ARE THERE SHOE PRINTS ON THE TOILET SEAT?!
Holy f*ck. This lady just ordered a "big cup of chino", without a hint of irony.
"thank you, have a nice day" is retail-speak for, "I hate you, I hope you die in a fire".
Remember that one time you went through my tip jar to find change to pay for your latte? That was awkward. Sorry about your face.
The coffee is free, you're just paying me to feign interest in you.
Sir, we have five trashcans around the cafe. I am not one of them.
"One of these days you'll remember my drink..." -- Pop quiz: what's my name?
Quad-latte 4 minutes before I close? Go f*ck yourself, homie.
You know you're a cocky barista when you get offended if people put sugar in the coffee you just made.
My coworker said he didn't put extra bleach in the dishwashing sink, but my newly tie-dyed shirt says otherwise.