Filtering by: 20 Most Liked
192 Macchiatto and Cypress Hill. Because I'm a f*cking gangster and stuff.
198 The everything-bagel makes a promise that it can't possibly keep.
227 I want the cafe customers to feel welcome... And just slightly afraid.
117 Lady with a 4-year old asked me to turn off A$AP because of the language. So I was all, "no, it's not my fault your kid is a f*cking nerd."
97 My boss watches the cameras at the cafe. But he'd save time if he just followed my twitter to see that I'm not working.
131 It's 8 am on MLK Day and this customer wants to talk about how our President "isn't very black"? What the f*ck is going on?
266 Holy f*ck. This lady just ordered a "big cup of chino", without a hint of irony.
125 If you've ever ordered an americano with steamed soy milk, you're pretty much on par with Hitler in my book.#muglife
140 If you walk into a cafe, take out your guitar and start playing it loudly. You are a crazy person. And everyone dislikes you.
170 You know you're a cocky barista when you get offended if people put sugar in the coffee you just made.
75 If you're wearing neon plastic sunglasses in the pouring rain, and you're not blind, I hope you walk into traffic.
248 No, you can't return your dirty-chai.. That's why I asked you if you knew what it was before I made it.
60 The pizza-bagel's identity crisis is too much for me to handle this early in the morning.
72 Whether or not you biked here is inconsequential. Those capri pants look ridiculous.
493 Instead of buying your kid rice-milk-hot-chocolate, just punch them in the back of the head & tell them life is full of disappointments.
92 I'm not saying 4 macchiatos is too much... I'm just saying I can't feel my face.
190 Every time someone orders an extra-hot-no-foam latte, an angel rapes a puppy.
104 Sir, if you insist on eating that bagel with a knife and fork, then I'll have to ask you to leave.
98 Sorry, lady. You're gonna have to speak up, because I'm not turning Stevie down just so I can take your goddamn latte order.
344 Sir, you seem to have a little piece of douchebag on the side of your face...Wait, no, that's just a bluetooth.