all content copyright bitterbarista 2013
Sir, we have five trashcans around the cafe. I am not one of them.
Can't find a seat at the cafe? Stand in the middle of the room and loudly announce, "there is a black prius outside and it's being towed". You're welcome.
Someone just asked if we offer a "nice guy" discount. I told him that we do offer a "nice guy" discount and then I charged him full price.
I'm not upset that your kid is crying. I'm just upset that I'm not young enough to get away with doing it too.
I don't know who did the art. I don't know how you can buy the art. And i mean really, is "art" even the right word to be using?
Make sure to tell your barista that she's cute because everyone loves to feel uncomfortable at 7 in the morning.
The sixth refill isn't free.
WHY ARE THERE SHOE PRINTS ON THE TOILET SEAT?!
Here's the deal... I won't expect you to know the italian names for drinks, if you won't expect me to know the candy bar names for drinks.
There is nothing in this world that I care less about than where you hang that poster.
"I don't want to give you my name because then you'll sign me up for a corporate mailing list. Does this tin-foil hat make me look crazy?"
I'll turn down the music when you ladies turn down your goddamned knitting circle.