Can't find a seat at the cafe? Stand in the middle of the room and loudly announce, "there is a black prius outside and it's being towed". You're welcome.
"Do you really expect people to buy a plastic lid for $.05?" -- Well, I expect them to buy coffee but you don't seem to be doing that so I've adjusted my expectations.
If you're just getting drip coffee, you're more important than everyone else. Push to the front of the line and avoid eye contact.
What do I recommend? Coffee. I recommend coffee.
It's 9 am and we just ran out of vanilla, so I'm preparing for a full day of white-lady-rage.
"I don't feel like you're really listening to my complaint" -- I thought I was making that pretty clear.
"Decaf latte in the window... Decaf latte in the window... Decaf latte in the window... Free decaf latte in the window."
This guy at the cafe just started quoting verses from the bible....I panicked and started quoting verses from 36 Chambers.
This guy just got mad because we don't have a yellow-pages. We also don't have an abacus or a sun-dial.
I had always hoped to have a job where people treat me like a vending machine.
Yay! Sweaty money!
Tips. As in, money. Not career advice.
extra shot: 50 cents
flavor: 35 cents
spiting your sense of entitlement: priceless
My ex-boss thinks the website is gonna stop because I don't work there anymore. Man, I didn't even work there when I worked there!
"I meant to ask for this to be iced." -- Well, i meant to go to grad school and do something fulfilling with my life. So...Oops, i guess?
I care too much about you to put that in the microwave.
"Are you guys hiring? My son is looking for a job..." -- Then maybe your son should grow a pair and start applying for his own jobs.
I went to work on Halloween dressed as someone with no self respect.
I didn't mean to offend you, but you said "expresso", so I figured we were just kinda saying whatever the f*ck we wanted.
"thank you, have a nice day" is retail-speak for, "I hate you, I hope you die in a fire".