I put a macchiato down on the bar and called it out. A customer walks up, drinks it in one gulp, and then says, "I ordered a mocha".
Can't find a seat at the cafe? Stand in the middle of the room and loudly announce, "there is a black prius outside and it's being towed". You're welcome.
It's soy milk. It tastes like soy milk, looks like soy milk and comes in a box labeled 'soy milk'. That's all the information I have.
I think it was when she gave me her order over the bathroom stall I was currently occupying, that I decided she was a jerk.
"I'm sorry to be picky but..." -- Lemme just stop you right there. No, you are not.
Yes, I have thought about carrying hemp milk. I've also thought about kicking a hippie in the shins. I'm definitely open to new ideas.
No ma'am, we do not serve soy eggnog. We don't serve unicorn milk either.
If my job didn't involve talking to people, I'd be hella good at my job.
Lady, you're drinking coffee through a straw. I hardly think you're in the position to lecture me on lifestyle choices.
Double cup? Sure! Matter 'a fact, I'll triple cup it and here's the keys to the register. Go set some money on fire.
Remember that time you asked me to change the music, and then you suggested Fleetwood Mac and now you're not allowed in here anymore?
Extra hot, no foam? And paying in change? You're off the team, buddy.
It's 8 am on MLK Day and this customer wants to talk about how our President "isn't very black"? What the f*ck is going on?
I asked if you wanted Hershey's or Mexican chocolate in your mocha and you said "regular", so you're at least a little bit racist.
My sense of humor is tip-based.
It's 2013. If you're impressed that we have free wi-fi, you're gonna absolutely love our indoor plumbing.
One day my boss is gonna stumble on my twitter account. I'll need to borrow some money the day after that happens...
Sir, you seem to have a little piece of douchebag on the side of your face...Wait, no, that's just a bluetooth.
Spilled her entire drink and then just disappeared! She's like a ninja. A terrible, terrible ninja.
If you only read one article about the Bitter Barista saga, it should be this one.