all content copyright bitterbarista 2013
If I'm only getting paid minimum wage to be your therapist, then I don't plan on giving you very good advice.
"I didn't want this iced. And my name is John, not Susan."
I just convinced a lady not to buy the last chocolate croissant because my 6-year old wanted it for his birthday. Also, I don't have kids.
The third time she tried to correct my coffee-making technique, I poured out her latte and handed her a job application.
Sir, we have five trashcans around the cafe. I am not one of them.
Can't find a seat at the cafe? Stand in the middle of the room and loudly announce, "there is a black prius outside and it's being towed". You're welcome.
Someone just asked if we offer a "nice guy" discount. I told him that we do offer a "nice guy" discount and then I charged him full price.
I'm not upset that your kid is crying. I'm just upset that I'm not young enough to get away with doing it too.
I don't know who did the art. I don't know how you can buy the art. And i mean really, is "art" even the right word to be using?
Make sure to tell your barista that she's cute because everyone loves to feel uncomfortable at 7 in the morning.
The sixth refill isn't free.
WHY ARE THERE SHOE PRINTS ON THE TOILET SEAT?!