Instead of being mad at me for charging full price, you should thank my co-worker for giving you a deal on your 3 shot soy vanilla latte.
"I'll be on the patio." -- Well, your panini will be on the counter.
"You know, at Starbucks they have a different kind of caramel." -- You know what else Starbucks should have? You.
"This latte is beautiful, how did you get so good at this?" - Give up on life, become desperate for rent money, then wait five years.
Yes, coffee is expensive. But you're more than welcome to go to Ethiopia and get it yourself.
"You're out of stir-sticks and I don't want to use a spoon..."
Coffee is very effective at masking the scent of marijuana.
What my boss doesn't understand is that, while my attitude makes for some terrible customer service, it makes for some great internet.
I didn't mean to offend you, but you said "expresso", so I figured we were just kinda saying whatever the f*ck we wanted.
If my job didn't involve talking to people, I'd be hella good at my job.
You know you're a cocky barista when you get offended if people put sugar in the coffee you just made.
I spend half my day apologizing for things I didn't do wrong.
You can say "2% milk" all damn day. You're getting whole milk.
It's a good thing everyone else in the cafe wants to hear that youtube video you're watching, otherwise you'd look like a total sociopath.
There's nowhere to sit?! Well, I can kick someone out, whittle you a new chair, or you can grow the f*ck up. Whichever.
I called my boss, "Mr. Manager", but he didn't get it and that's when I knew this was never gonna work.
"Can you put this in a ceramic cup, I don't like to waste paper"
"Don't spend it all in one place" is one of those classic jokes that never gets old. It still makes me want to cry every time.
I'm smiling, aren't I? I think that's enough of a Halloween costume.
I asked her why she needed a drink carrier if she only had one drink. "Because I have to carry it someplace."