So, a guy grumpily walks up to the counter and says "Soy mocha." I reply, "Hi, mocha. Soy Matt. What would you like to order?"
"oh my god, I don't care" - me, during every conversation with every customer ever.
You called? On the phone? Oh, no, we don't answer that.
I just convinced a lady not to buy the last chocolate croissant because my 6-year old wanted it for his birthday. Also, I don't have kids.
No, you can't return your dirty-chai.. That's why I asked you if you knew what it was before I made it.
"The coffee shop that used to be here had chocolate whip cream" -- Oh yeah? How'd that work out for them?
Your happiness and self-confidence are infuriating.
My boss is gonna stumble on my twitter feed sooner or later. That's gonna be awkward.
"Refill the honey" is just about the meanest thing you can say to a person.
Good coffee is never bitter. But a good barista always is.
This guy at the cafe just started quoting verses from the bible....I panicked and started quoting verses from 36 Chambers.
"Could I buy a gallon of milk?"
If you write a zero on a credit card tip, don't draw a line through it. We get it already.
Awesome! I have a customer that drives by every morning and then drives away when he sees I'm working. I think that means I win.
We have a guitar in the cafe. It helps us determine who is a sociopath and who isn't.
Can't find a seat at the cafe? Stand in the middle of the room and loudly announce, "there is a black prius outside and it's being towed". You're welcome.
Lady, I can tell you what is inside the cup and you can decide if its what you ordered. But that's just about all the information I've got.
"are you sure this is 1%? It tastes like 2%" was the last thing she said before I started throwing stuff at her face.
Ma'am, the face you made when I told you we don't have frappuccinos, looks like a sad walrus.
He ordered "an upside down caramel macchiato", so I don't know why he was so upset when I poured it on the floor while handing it to him