Which Coffee Drink Are You?

Take the quiz and find out!

Question 1/7

Which of the following best describes your first thought every morning?


"The way the birds begin to chirp just as the sun comes over the horizon is a great reminder that today is going to be filled with beauty and wonder."




"Maybe I just won’t do it today. I mean, what is a "job", really? Maybe staying here in bed is my job now."


"Where am I? Who is that? Do they have tylenol? Where’s my phone?"


"I never wake up before my alarm goes off but I feel so well rested and--OH MY GOD I’M AN HOUR LATE FOR WORK."

Question 2/7

Which of the following best describes what you do while waiting in line at the cafe?


Listen to each of the customers in front of you, silently judging them for what they order.


Attempt to make conversation with the uncaffeinated zombies on either side of you.


Bury your nose in your phone, oblivious to the entire world around you until the customer behind you taps your shoulder.


Read the menu from top to bottom, ask the people around you for recommendations, use a lifeline to phone a friend, google it, then look confused.

Question 3/7

There’s only one bathroom at the cafe and the door is locked. Which of the following best describes what you do next?

Knock quietly and if there’s no answer then you wait as long as it takes for someone to come out, or for someone to get the key, or for the cafe to close.

Tell the barista that the door is locked and ask for the key. When the barista tells you that someone is in the bathroom, ask for the key again.

Jiggle the handle continuously for several minutes until the door opens.

Skip it. I don’t like to use public restrooms anyways.

Question 4/7

You’re sitting alone in a crowded cafe, and the only available seat is across from you. Which of the following best describes your reaction when a new customer walks in?


Move your bag, computer and drink to make room, then cut your scone in half and offer them a piece.


Dump your bag on the empty chair, kick up your feet and sip your coffee, never breaking eye contact with the new customer


Too much pressure. Abort. "I’ll take a to-go cup, please!"

Question 5/7

Thing you’re most likely to overhear at your local cafe:

"I actually prefer the coffee shop at the other end of the mall."

"Jaden just got off a 3-year wait list for preschool, but we’re thinking about enrolling him at a co-op instead."

"So I take the vinyl record out of my bag, but he tells me he doesn’t own a record player, and at that point I just got up and left. Never talked to him again."

"Pull up to the second window, please."

"Do you mind if I unplug your laptop so that I can plug in my much nicer laptop?"

Question 6/7

Which of the following best describes the way you live your life?

Life is full of ups and downs and you’re just happy to be along for the ride.

Always the underdog, you set expectations low so they're easy to live up to.

You know what you want and you’ll do everything it takes to get what you want and when you get what you want - and then you probably won’t want it anymore.

Question 7/7

Are you a pain in the ass?


Do OTHER people think you’re a pain in the ass?


And now back to our regularly scheduled bitterness.

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